


If You Don’t Like My Fire

by thelma_throwaway



Series: Let’s Get Modern (AU) [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: 420, 420 just blaze it, AU, Cannabis, Don’t tell me Team 8 doesn’t blaze, Drug Use, F/M, Gen, Modern AU, if you don’t like my fire, smoking weed, then don’t come around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25880644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelma_throwaway/pseuds/thelma_throwaway
Summary: Then don’t come around.Neighborly AU: The one where they all get high.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi, Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto, implied MultiSaku
Series: Let’s Get Modern (AU) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778176
Comments: 18
Kudos: 45





	If You Don’t Like My Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: cannabis is physiologically mostly harmless if you use it with some modicum of common sense—- and science agrees with me.
> 
> Can you have a bad experience using it — yep! Can you become dependent on it— yes, be mindful. Can you overdose on it — no, not really. 
> 
> If you’re not a smoker but would still like to enjoy this story here’s some vocab for you:
> 
> joint/spliff- used interchangeably here, a “drug cigarette” as a neighbor once said. A spliff usually has tobacco in it
> 
> blunt: same as above but rolled in a tobacco leaf or a cigarillo 
> 
> roach: the end of a joint or blunt :( 
> 
> potential primary effects of cannabis use: muscle relaxation, dilation of blood vessels (particularly of the eyes), dry mouth and cough (associated with smoking), increased sensitivity to touch/taste/sound, nausea or ‘spinning’ sensation, general body relaxation and anti-inflammatory response 
> 
> potential secondary effects of cannabis: mental stimulation, increased paranoia/anxiety, lightheadedness, ‘the giggles’, increased libido, appetite stimulation, listening to the same album for hours on end

She follows the sound of music to the backyard, emanating from under the door of the shed. As she gets closer she catches the green tang of burning herbs. For a moment she stands, hand hovering over the door knob and chewing her lip in thought. Should she slip inside? Should she make a scene?

There’s another round of goofy tittering inside and it galvanizes her. She turns the knob and kicks the door in.

“You fuckers!” She feels the vein in her forehead flex. “Without me—- AGAIN.”

It had started by pure accident in high school, but the boys had been so tickled by her explosive reaction in their altered state that its become a running joke. Almost a decade later and it never fails to send them to pieces. 

Kiba and Naruto guffaw, wiping their eyes and slapping their knees. Shino gives a slow nod while Genma shoots her a glassy grin. Kakashi smiles behind a half-finished blunt.

“Close the door, sweetie,” he tuts. “You’re letting all the smoke out.”

“I just want to say that I _hate_ that you two have picked up this joke,” Sakura growls gesturing at her boyfriend and his friend. “Et tu, Sasuke?”

Her ex sits propped between Naruto and Genma, slack jawed and practically drooling.

“Guy’s got no tolerance,” snorts Kiba, patting his knee. “Come sit, Sakura. I’ve got a free seat for you.”

“You should be more polite,” admonishes Shino behind his sunglasses. “Her boyfriend’s right there.”

Sakura sticks her tongue out and shoos Sasuke’s gelatinous form half into Naruto's lap to take his chair. “Its never stopped him before.”

“Yeah see— I’m a feminist,” Kiba coughs. “I’m always the same level of skeezy regardless of relationship status. Not like some asshole who only leaves a girl alone just cuz she says she has a man.” 

Shino passes Sakura the blunt across the circle. It fucks up the rotation but it’s the only way to appease her. 

“Wow.” Sakura takes a long pull and holds it in. “I talked to all the other women and we’re just so appreciative of your commitment to gender equality.” 

“Plus I don’t think Hatake minds.” Kiba continues as if she hasn’t said anything at all. He leers dangerously at Kakashi and sniffs a little. “You like sharing, right?”

“In your dreams would anyone share Bubblegum with a fleabag like you,” Genma sneers. 

She feels a blush gather at her throat when Kakashi winks at her across the circle before saying, “Speaking of a convenient conversational segues, should we invite the other ladies now we’ve been found out?”

There’s a general groan of dissent. 

“No way, it’s a waste of weed.” Sakura finally relinquishes the blunt to Naruto, passing over Sasuke’s lolling head. The blonde takes two puffs before finishing his thought. “Sakura-chan’s the only one who really likes to smoke anyway.” 

“Ten won’t touch it, Ino gets paranoid, and Hinata falls right to sleep, right Naruto?” 

A grin spreads across his freckled face and his eyes go dreamy.“Well… she definitely wants to _get in bed_ after.” 

Kiba gags and passes it to Shino, who passes it to Genma, who resists the urge to grab Sakura’s chin and breath a stream of smoke between her parted lips but no one knows about that. Instead she takes the roach from between his fingertips and scowls.

“So who's rolling another one, since you smoked this one without me. Again. For the like ten thousandth time.” 

“Stop being so predictable and we’ll consider.” Naruto pushes Sasuke’s limp body onto her shoulder and reaches for the rolling tray but it’s already on Shino’s lap. He’s tucking closed a perfect, tan cone, nails pattering like beetles to mold the end into a crown. He presents the joint with one hand while offering an expertly executed blunt to Naruto with the other.

“No way…” gurgles Sasuke. 

Sakura giggles and lights her spliff. When the blunt comes around she smokes that too and soon she’s blushed and coughing and high as hell. She darts from her seat to cuddle into Kakashi’s lap just as the roach lands in his fingers and she snags it away.

“Hey,” he protests without an ounce of resentment. Kakashi draws a laugh from her tickling his fingertips across her stomach and she responds with a kiss, puffing a breath of smoke into his mouth as she draws away. His hands tighten on her waist and Sakura shakes her head, rolling her eyes at how just so _easy_ it is to start him up.

The other members of the circle are arguing about the best dispensary in Konoha while Naruto giggles.

“Oi, teme!” He shakes Sasuke by the shoulder. “You ok? You haven’t said anything in like an hour.”

“W.. water,” Sasuke croaks before falling back into the beanbag chair. 

After the laughter dies down Genma wipes his eyes and coughs, “What’s this strain called again?”

“Don’t remember— They’re all made up anyway. Something kush.” Kiba rustles around for the bottle. “Mangekyou Kush.”  
  


They all giggle at the tongue twister of a name. Kakashi nuzzles against Sakura’s throat and hums happily, wrapping the tie from her blouse around his finger. “In my day we just called it weed.”

“Was that before or after Woodstock, old man?” Kiba sneers but shakes out a palmful of almond sized nugs and gestures to each of them to open their hands. 

Kiba closes his fingers just as she goes to pinch it from his palm.He grins at her, shamelessly scanning from her flushed cheeks and red eyes to Kakashi’s hands at her hips, keeping her fastened to his lap. Kakashi’s fingers flex against her waist and his knee slides a little higher between her thighs. 

“You two have to _share_ ,” he huffs haughtily when she slaps his knuckles open. “As punishment for dethroning Naruto and Hina as Most Puke Inducingly Adorable Couple..”

Their round of applause and congratulations is interrupted by the shed door banging open again. Ino leads the way, teeth grit and hands fisted, while Hinata slips in behind her, pushing Sasuke aside to melt into Naruto’s lap. Her lips go right to his ear and he lifts her closer with an arm looped under her thighs as a shy blush spreads across his cheeks. 

Sakura wonders if they can really claim the title of cutest couple. Naruto handles his girlfriend like some enchanted thing.

Kakashi is doing his best to snap the string of her thong through her shorts. 

Tenten and Neji are close behind, both waving their hands theatrically under their noses. Shikamaru is the last to slink in, nearly dropping his cigarette as his face collapses in disappointment. 

“You assholes!” Ino growls, an accusing finger landing on Sakura. She instantly dissolves into giggles and Kakashi follows. “You always do this.”

“Ahhh.” Shikamaru wedges himself between Sasuke’s snoozing form and Genma’s milk crate. “You were supposed to give me the _signal_.”

“ _Shhhhh_!”

“Don’t tell them about the signal.”

  
Ino snorts and tugs her ear twice. “That’s _the signal_ , right? Idiots.” 

She surveys her choices before settling in Genma’s lap.

“So.” She pointedly fixes his hands to his knees as if to say, _And stay there_ , even as he rubs his cheek against her bare shoulder. “ Who’s rolling up for me. Dicks.” 

* * *

_You can see[ the stony doodle](https://thelmathrowaway.tumblr.com/post/624290848616726528/lol-this-is-some-straight-up-clownery-i-thought-up) that inspired this fic, along with more of my writing and art [on my Tumblr!](https://thelmathrowaway.tumblr.com/)_

**Author's Note:**

> While you’re here—- there are literally hundreds of thousands of Americans, disproportionately young people of color, who are locked up for what amounts to a life sentence on marijuana related charges. This means essentially lifelong disenfranchisement from voting, receiving public benefits, economic opportunities, community involvement, social relationships, and the negative physical and mental health side effects of incarceration. For a plant. That you can now grow at your house in most states.
> 
> Anyway just a reminder that legalization is not for fun and good vibes, but is essential to addressing racial injustice and racist policing across the globe. 
> 
> I highly encourage you to read, write, donate, and sign in support of decriminalizing marijuana and ending mandatory drug sentencing minimums !!!! Or look into the situation in your home country to see what’s up.


End file.
